A VIDEO

legendary 

Reblogged from
A TEXT POST

loki-cat:

multipack:

omG my lizard went on my laptop wen i was gonE!!

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your lizard types fast

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too fast

Reblogged from Everything Me
A PHOTO

bear-onica:

shitloadsofwrestling:

One day, that toddler will be telling everyone about the time she went one on one with the great one, pattycaking his candy ass.

the rock is a gift

Reblogged from Everything Me
A TEXT POST

dragonstars:

making your friend watch a horrible movie that you have already seen

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A TEXT POST

dutchster:

meatbicyclevevo:

urtube:

I hope all of you end up living in houses similar to the ones you built for your sims to live in

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thanks

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perfect

Reblogged from Everything Me
A TEXT POST

oknope:

pondifying:

reasons to be a mermaid

  • no periods
  • no pants

u forgot these:

  • perfect hair
  • free clam bra
  • u get to lure man
Reblogged from Everything Me
A TEXT POST

shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

Reblogged from Everything Me
A PHOTO

impostoradult:

a-spoon-is-born:

trapbuddha:

adumbrant:

nirvanatrill:

Albert Einstein teaching a physics class at Lincoln university (HCBU in Pennsylvania) in 1946

Sure as hell never mention that about him.

HOMIE

His anti-racism views and work are often totally ignored by historians.

He also signed one of the first ever formal legal petitions to have homosexuality decriminalized in his home nation (Germany).

Reblogged from Everything Me
A TEXT POST

vulcannic:

If this post gets 15k notes before september then I’ll wear my starfleet gold command shirt for my school picture

Reblogged from Everything Me
A QUOTE

My brother killed himself
on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year
and I missed four days of work
and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.
My brother
he was always a fan of beauty
but what he did
was not beautiful at all.

And last week I got the news
that one of my good friends from high school
had overdosed
(again)
except this time
she’d gone too far
and now she was gone.
And I had a hard time falling asleep at night
and her mother
hugged me tight
and thanked me for coming to the service
but I did not
want to be there at all.
This is not
beautiful.

The girl down the street
would’ve turned 21 last year
and I can scarcely imagine
the wild times she would’ve
(should’ve)
had.
But she is buried six feet deep
after falling nearly 300
and she did not leave a note.
This is not
beautiful.

My freshman year of college
and my roommate was beautiful
and how I wanted to be just like her.
But she wore herself down
till she was
almost invisible
and if you blinked
you had to go and find her all over again.
So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition
but are paying her hospital bills
watching their daughter crumble.
This is not
beautiful.

So y’all can take your narcissistic
romanticizing
and glamorizing
of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide
and shove them as far up your ass
as you possibly can.
Starvation is not beautiful.
Killing yourself is not beautiful.
Sadness
is not beautiful.
This note I am writing
is not beautiful.

But you
you are beautiful
and it’s about damn time you start believing it.

Reblogged from The Last Virgin Bride
A VIDEO

buzzfeed:

The 31 Realest Tumblr Posts About Being A Women

*stands up*

*salutes*

*applauds forever*

Reblogged from The Last Virgin Bride
A PHOTO

the-internet-addict:

snorting-coke-with-kids:

tabloid-lover:

jamietheundeadamerican:

iwillmindfuckyou:

kneel-on-nails:

forever-kitten:

Damn son our uterus stretches like 5x the size and then contracts and pushes a 7 pound baby out of a small tube into life if you think that isn’t metal as fuck get out of my face

YOUR ORGANS THOUGH IM SO SORRY LADIES

damn selfish babies taking up all the space

NAW MAN, LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT PREGNANCY AND BABIES, ALRIGHT?

FIRST OF ALL, IT SUCKS DICK. FIRST OFF LET ME GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING RUNDOWN ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T EAT OR DRINK WHEN YOU’RE PREGNANT.

  • SUSHI
  • EGGS
  • NO UNCOOKED ANYTHING IN FUCKING GENERAL ACTUALLY. AND ESPECIALLY NOT FISH.
  • ANYTHING WITH CAFFEINE IN IT, WHICH INCLUDES COFFEE, SODA, CHOCOLATE (THAT’S RIGHT, NO CHOCOLATE), SEVERAL TYPES OF COOKIES AND CANDIES, AND ENERGY DRINKS.
  • VEGETABLES AND MEATS THAT ARE RICH IN NITRATES LIKE HOTDOGS, SAUSAGE, LETTUCE, SPINACH AND CELERY.

SO BASICALLY IF YOU’RE USED TO EATING OR DRINKING ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO QUIT COLD TURKEY THE SECOND YOU GET PREGNANT.

NOW I’M NOT EVEN DONE. YOU SEE THAT PINK UPSIDE-DOWN TRIANGLE BELOW THE BABY’S HEAD? YEAH? THAT’S YOUR BLADDER. BABIES SQUEEZE DOWN ON THAT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW AND ONCE YOU HIT THE THIRD TRIMESTER, YOU BASICALLY HAVE AN ELDERLY PERSON’S BLADDER. MY MOTHER TELLS ME SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT LEAST 6 TIMES A DAY JUST SO SHE WOULDN’T WET HERSELF. ALSO WITH A BABY SQUEEZING’ UP AGAINST YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES LIKE THAT SAY HELLO TO CONSTIPATION NATION, EVERYONE.

SO NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE THE BLADDER AND BOWELS OF AN OLD PERSON, BUT THAT GROWING HUMAN BEING GROWING OUT OF YOUR GULLET ALSO PUTS A HUUUUGE STRAIN ON YOUR BACK. NOT TO MENTION IT’S A PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS TO MOVE ANYWHERE, SINCE YOU NEED TO START WALKING LIKE SOMEONE OUT OF A MONTY PYTHON SKIT JUST TO GET AROUND EFFICIENTLY. ALSO THAT ADDED WEIGHT MAKES YOUR FEET ACHE SOMETHING AWFUL. SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

WELL GUESS WHAT. YOU CAN’T TAKE ASPRIN. ABSOLUTELY NO ASPRIN. NO IBUPROFEN, NO NAPROXEN NO NOTHING. 

SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU IN PROBABLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE YOU WILL EVER BE, BUT YOUR MEDICINE CHOICES ARE EXTREMELY FUCKING LIMITED. (AND NO, I MENTIONED NO CHOCOLATE EITHER.)

DO YOU GUYS NOT REALIZE THAT THE FATE OF SOCIETY AND THE HUMAN RACE IN GENERAL IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT WOMEN MOSTLY CHOOSE TO GET PREGNANT? FOR LITTLE TO NO REWARD?! THE UNITED STATES ONLY GIVES 12 UNPAID WEEKS OF MATERNITY LEAVE ON AVERAGE. 

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE FUCKING PROCESS BY WHICH OUR POPULATION CONTINUES TO GROW WOULD BE FUCKING REWARDED AND CELEBRATED, NOT SWEPT UNDER THE FUCKING RUG LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING DUST.

/RANT OVER

Greatest rant ever.

12 weeks?! What the hell? In Canada it’s a YEAR, because a mother is kind of instrumental in a babies growth and development.. woman are seriously expected to leave their three month old baby with someone else so they don’t lose their job. That’s so shitty.

And I didn’t know about most of the othet things above. Women in general put with so much shit.

And in canada it’s not just mat leave it can be pat(ernal) leave to, so the mother and father can trade off part way through so the mother can go back after say 6 months and the father can be off for the final six.

Reblogged from The Last Virgin Bride
A TEXT POST

superlockedphan:

twerkinshield:

onemuseleft:

vivalabucky:

Marvel needs to make a YouTube channel where they get the cast of the avengers to do everyday stuff as their characters

Yes I would like to donate all of my money

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Reblogged from The Last Virgin Bride
A TEXT POST

bckyb4rnes:

youngmushroom:

hwatlarry:

  • if you are a vegan
  • great!
  • tell me and i will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it
  • but if you ever
  • ever
  • tell me that im a killer
  • or try to make me feel bad
  • for eating meat
  • i
  • will
  • eat
  • you

ok but consider this: you should feel bad.

ok but consider this: i WILL eat you

Reblogged from The Last Virgin Bride
A TEXT POST

weepingangel221b:

musicalflashinglights:

queerpunkhamlet:

overlypolitebisexual:

as a parent it is your god damn fucking job to look after your children stop treating your children like they are burdens

you signed up to have a child, the child did not sign up to have you as a parent

keep this in mind. do not expect your children to immediately give you back all the things you give them. they are children. love them. cherish them. treat them well.

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well done supernatural fandom, well done

Reblogged from The Last Virgin Bride